From Hamadi

Dear You,

I was sick with depression; I was always telling myself: “Tomorrow will be better and I will get a solution.” But, most of the time, it wasn’t and I didn’t.

The origins of my illness come from different sources, parents, education, social situation, my skin colour, not coming to terms with bad experiences I've had - thinking that I can move mountains on my own. I was incapable of thinking clearly and was poisoning my life but unaware that I was also hurting also those around me, including my family. 

I reached a dead end. I seemed to be living like Robinson Crusoe, all alone and just waiting for something to relieve my soul. Thanks to friends and my family, I was saved but when I woke up I didn't really have a plan, all I knew was that I couldn't stay home waiting for help from the government. I had to DO something to help me. 

Typical for me, I chose the hardest way but I was patient. I’ve got to take always the hardest way to reach my goals. I was earning less than five hundred euros as a baker but it was something. I began repaying my angels. 

Eventually, between my recovery plan and asking people for forgiveness that I had unconsciously hurt, I finally went back to my first job that I had when I first moved to France. 

It's hard looking back at what happened to me, but I am not ashamed of my depression. If I had to choose I would make the same decisions, because it made me the man I am now.

Please take care of yourselves, think positively when you can because there is always a way forward, know your weaknesses and don’t be afraid or ashamed of them - accept them. Get help from good people and transform your weaknesses to strengths. I'm so grateful for those who helped me and surrounded me in my time of pain.

From Hamadi